Like Playing See-Saw With an Elephant!

If you've been following my blog (please do, I'm very interesting and insightful. Really. Honest) you would have seen my post about wanting to work whilst being a mummy. As I'm officially on maternity leave until the end of January but am no longer being paid, I've been doing some writing work, hence the quietness on here.

It turns out that trying to work from home with a baby is trickier than I thought. Firstly, Isabella is obsessed with my laptop and every time I have it round her, she climbs on top of it. Secondly, my baby does not like being ignored and she doesn't nap that much. If you add together all the hours you spend playing with a baby, feeding a baby, soothing a baby, changing a baby and doing the endless washing of clothes that comes along with it all, I'm pretty sure it adds up to more than 24 hours!

At first it was fine, I was doing manageable chunks of work here and there, but then I managed to score a job as a content writer for an outsourcing company. It was a LOT of work, which is both good and bad. Good because doing 8-10 500 word pieces a day adds up to a reasonable amount of money, bad because it's actual impossible to fit that in when you're a mummy. Something has to give, and in my case, that ended up being sleep. 

I had a seemingly endless stream of articles and guest posts to write with next day deadlines. The fascinating subjects included- packaging tape, pallet wrap, plywood, body armour (?). Soooo, I ended up typing all the way to Shropshire and back, typing during Isabella's meal times (it's fortunate that at the moment she just insists on feeding herself) and typing through to the wee small hours. Old caffeine addict Kayleigh was back! My baby ended up twitchy from the amount of coffee I was drinking, I felt like I was being tortured and it got to the stage when I just didn't care if I was being paid or not, I just wanted my life back.

After losing 5lbs in the space of 4 days and gaining a massive spot which makes me look like I have a cold sore, I decided to call it quits. I told a little white lie and said that I had another job and agreed that I'd do 1000-2000 words a day for them max. I've got a few straggling pieces to get through, so it's going to be another tough couple of nights, but at least then it's done and gone away forever. Now, I'm just working for the one company that I started with doing a little bit of blog work and proof reading here and there and I'm much happier. 

It's so impossible to find a balance between working and being a mum, whether you return to the office or work from home. Hence the title of this entry because it is, in fact, like trying to play see-saw with an elephant! 

Baby feeding isn't a contest!

Up until now, I've been pretty open about the fact that I breast feed my baby, but haven't publicly discussed my opinions or problems that I've experienced much.
Discussing breast feeding is a double-edged sword- it's important to discuss it and stop it from becoming a taboo subject, but be too pro-breast feeding and you get accused of being part of the 'Breastapo' or trying to guilt-trip bottle feeding mums. Why can't we just freely discuss feeding our babies without negative feedback?!
I'm part of several breast feeding support groups on Facebook, but some of the comments made by other breast feeding mums seem like they're trying to make mums feel guilty if they have to supplement with formula or have to start weaning earlier than they planned.
I got a LOT of opinions and criticism when I had to start giving Isabella solids at 4 months,but none of them were actually from breast feeders who had the experience that I did of being stuck for an hour with a baby on your boob a dozen times a day. This leads me to believe that these advocates didn't exclusively breast feed quiiiiiiite as long as they're making out!
Of course I believe that breast feeding is best for MY baby, but it doesn't mean that I'm frowning on other mums who either can't breast feed or choose not to for their personal reasons. That being said, I think that not breast feeding for a self-centred reason, eg thinking that it makes your boobs go saggy, is wrong. I have a mummy friend who couldn't breast feed due to tongue-tie, then her supply didn't come through because she didn't have the first few important days and a girl we know (who's not a mum, BTW) had the brass nerve to stand IN  HER HOUSE and have a go at her for not breast feeding and demanded that she tried it there and then. What happened to us women being supportive of each other?!
At the same time, I sometimes feel that I can't be vocal about how proud I am of myself. Most women in the UK will give up breast feeding by 6 weeks, but I'm still going strong at 7 months AND my baby as 2 teeth that she's started to use- ouchy!
Maybe if all of us women, mums and non-mums alike are supportive and less critical about each other, we can discuss the choices that we have made for our babies more freely without having to tread on eggshells.

Veggie baby pancakes

OK, because I'm nice, I thought I'd share my recipe for baby pancakes.

Makes 8 (I cook 4 and then do the rest the following day, keep the batter in the fridge)

You will need-

1 egg
1/3 tin of chickpeas, butter beans or any pulse that your baby likes.
1 heaped tbsp of flour
1 tbsp of grated cheddar
A pinch of dried herbs

Here's what to do-

Boil your beans or pulses for 4 minutes in unsalted water, drain and then mash.
Mix together with the rest of the ingredients and a little splash of water to make a thick batter.
Heat up a frying pan with a small amount of vegetable oil.
Once the pan is hot, spoon in some of the mixture.
Cook for 3-4 minutes, then flip them over.
Cook the other side for another 3-4 minutes, until both sides are golden brown.
Cool on a piece of kitchen paper to absorb any excess grease, then serve, voila!

I first gave them to Isabella with a tomato and tahini dipping sauce, but she ended up shoving her hands into the sauce and smearing it everywhere. She looked a zombie baby! They are also very tasty for mummy and daddy, because cooking for baby is hungry work!

Well, I guess I'm not needed!

My baby has decided that she doesn't want me to feed her any more (except yogurt, strangely  and she just wants to feed herself. This is both a good thing and a bad thing.

It's good because-
I get to do stuff whilst she's eating, like actually eating myself, or reading, which I never get to do any more!
It's good for her fine motor skills and independence.
She really enjoys her food.
It's handy when we go out for lunch and she can feed herself whilst we eat.

It's bad because-
I still have a load of purées and baby porridge which she will no longer touch. My baby doesn't realise that I'm not made of money!
It means that I have to get more creative as she's being raised veggie so I need to come up with lots of ideas for finger foods with protein.
Sometimes it takes aaaaaaaaaaages and you can't leave a baby unattended whilst they eat.
It's a bit embarrassing when we go out for lunch and there's half-chewed food in a 2 foot radius around us.

Also, if she's a bit tired, she doesn't eat much and chucks most of it on the floor. Then she gets cranky because she's still hungry. Then she gets cranky because she's been in the high chair for too long. Then she takes ages to get to sleep because she's still hungry. You just can't please some people!
My current brainchild is mini-pancakes with mashed up beans or chickpeas and cheese in them to get fat, carbs and protein into her, but obviously she can't live off those so I'll have to come up with more ideas. She would probably eat toast and bananas all day, every day if I let her, but if mummy isn't allowed to live off toast, neither is she!