I actually left my baby for the entire night for the first time ever last night and it was emosh! It was one of my best friends' fiance's birthday night out (Vikki, she of the baking and keeping me sane fame) so we were going to Vodka Revs in Clapham. Tony had to stay at home to babysit so because cabs are so expensive and a train was out of the question because it was 1.absolutely freezing due to the snow we've had the last couple of days, 2.A bit nerve wracking getting a train all the way back to the sticks by myself and 3.A bummer as the last train to get me home would be at 11.40. So, as a solution, Vikki let me stay round theirs, their little girl was at her grandparentss house so I slept in hr room. On an inflatable bed, of course, not in her dinky bed.
I've been out a few times since having her but came back the same night, don't normally stay out too late and have to snap straight back into mummy-mode. As much as I missed Isabella so, so, so much, it was actually really liberating! A whole evening of no mummy duties at all. But, instead of my normal reports of Isabella being inconsolable and awake for hours, she was fine. She was bloody fine and didn't miss me at all. What am I, chopped liver?!
The next morning, I woke up with pornstar boobs as I'd missed a couple of feeds and surprisingly unhungover considering how drunk I was. I'm still doing the dryathalon, I was supposed to get a 'golden pass' for last night, I suppose I can still get one online. Whoops. Tony brought Isabella with me when he came to pick me up and at first she was a bit stand offish, but after me practically forcing her to have a feed to relieve myself a bit, she came around!
I love my baby girl more than life itself, but I think I really needed my night off. It'll probably be a good few months before I go out again and hopefully it won't be so blimming freezing!
Me and my gorgeous baby
Perhaps the only barefaced pic of me that will ever grace the internet
Sunday 20 January 2013
Thursday 17 January 2013
Really, really hating this now!
It's been a week of trying to get Isabella to self-soothe and it's really dragging! The second night, it only took half an hour to get her to sleep, only for her to wake up half an hour later and to be awake until nearly 1am!
We've managed to get the initial going to sleep thing down to a T, it takes baby about 5 minutes and then she's off. But, that's when it all comes unstuck. She's wide awake after an hour or so, then is awake until I feed her, and then up again at 3. When you're up until the wee small hours trying to forge a career as a freelance writer and actually watch some TV (God, I miss TV!), it's utterly exhausting!
I just keep telling myself the same thing that any mum that's gone through sleeping problems, colic, teething or just general fussiness tells themselves- this too shall pass!
Seriously, if you tell yourself that enough times, you can almost feel your fingers clutching on to the slippery grip of your sanity! There are a few posts going around Facebook with poems about how your baby is only young once so to cherish the sleepless nights and messiness and the whole shebang, but it's just easier said than done. Tonight, I tried leaving her with her daddy whilst I ate dinner and she was still wide awake when I came upstairs. Tony had let her play with her toys with the lights off because he though it would help gradually calm her down. Men's logic, anyone?!
I love my baby more than life itself and I know I'm going to miss her being all little (ish!) and cuddly, but I just wish she'd bloody sleep when she's supposed to. She's now growing out of 9-12 month clothes and going into 12-18, it's so scary knowing that in a month and a bit I'm going to have a 1 year old!
We've managed to get the initial going to sleep thing down to a T, it takes baby about 5 minutes and then she's off. But, that's when it all comes unstuck. She's wide awake after an hour or so, then is awake until I feed her, and then up again at 3. When you're up until the wee small hours trying to forge a career as a freelance writer and actually watch some TV (God, I miss TV!), it's utterly exhausting!
I just keep telling myself the same thing that any mum that's gone through sleeping problems, colic, teething or just general fussiness tells themselves- this too shall pass!
Seriously, if you tell yourself that enough times, you can almost feel your fingers clutching on to the slippery grip of your sanity! There are a few posts going around Facebook with poems about how your baby is only young once so to cherish the sleepless nights and messiness and the whole shebang, but it's just easier said than done. Tonight, I tried leaving her with her daddy whilst I ate dinner and she was still wide awake when I came upstairs. Tony had let her play with her toys with the lights off because he though it would help gradually calm her down. Men's logic, anyone?!
I love my baby more than life itself and I know I'm going to miss her being all little (ish!) and cuddly, but I just wish she'd bloody sleep when she's supposed to. She's now growing out of 9-12 month clothes and going into 12-18, it's so scary knowing that in a month and a bit I'm going to have a 1 year old!
Wednesday 9 January 2013
I don't know who cried more!
So, I decided to give self-soothing another go and stick at it. I need to get Isabella out of the habit of feeding to sleep because I want to stop breast feeding soon. Lots of mums probably started months ago, but I wanted to make sure that we were both ready!
Little tip to any mums out there reading this, make sure that your partner is with you (mine was out, rookie mistake!) or a close friend and don't do it when you're going through a period of not drinking. I'm doing the dryathalon for CRUK at the moment and am still gagging for a glass of wine after this evening!
Basically, Isabella's never been a good sleeper. She screams like she's being murdered if you put her in her cot, doesn't want to nap, takes ages to calm down and is a tiny (read:extremely) clingy. I was told since day one to put her down whilst she's still awake, which of course with her has never worked. She was still awake after her bedtime routine and last feed, so I though "oo here's my chance" after a few unsuccessful attempts in the last week. Unsurprisingly, she wasn't impressed. Thus followed 2 hours and 40 minutes of picking up and putting down, trying to give her a dummy (which she normally likes, I can't leave dummies within her reach normally cos she'll grab them and use them whether she needs them or not. I'm sure she's got an oral fixation....), blood-curdling screams, Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes feat.Adam Levigne repeatedly, begging, pleading, a half dose of calpol and a lot of tears from both of us.
Luckily, my friend Vikki was on Facebook chat the whole time. She taught her baby to self-soothe just after her first birthday so she was coaching me through and helping to preserve my sanity.
I'm really hoping that tomorrow evening doesn't take this long, otherwise I might put myself up for adoption. In other news, I've started to plan Isabella's very first birthday party, yay! It's a bit early notice as her birthday isn't for another 6 and a half weeks, but I'm determined that it will be perfect! We're having a Disney Princess theme, Vikki is making princess-themed pink and purple cupcakes and a castle shaped cake, all the food and drink will be pink and I'm planning games like "stick the horn on the unicorn" and a treasure hunt. I've also asked all the guests, including the grown-ups to wear tiaras. It's gonna be so fricking girly that we'll poo rainbows!
TTFN x
Little tip to any mums out there reading this, make sure that your partner is with you (mine was out, rookie mistake!) or a close friend and don't do it when you're going through a period of not drinking. I'm doing the dryathalon for CRUK at the moment and am still gagging for a glass of wine after this evening!
Basically, Isabella's never been a good sleeper. She screams like she's being murdered if you put her in her cot, doesn't want to nap, takes ages to calm down and is a tiny (read:extremely) clingy. I was told since day one to put her down whilst she's still awake, which of course with her has never worked. She was still awake after her bedtime routine and last feed, so I though "oo here's my chance" after a few unsuccessful attempts in the last week. Unsurprisingly, she wasn't impressed. Thus followed 2 hours and 40 minutes of picking up and putting down, trying to give her a dummy (which she normally likes, I can't leave dummies within her reach normally cos she'll grab them and use them whether she needs them or not. I'm sure she's got an oral fixation....), blood-curdling screams, Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes feat.Adam Levigne repeatedly, begging, pleading, a half dose of calpol and a lot of tears from both of us.
Luckily, my friend Vikki was on Facebook chat the whole time. She taught her baby to self-soothe just after her first birthday so she was coaching me through and helping to preserve my sanity.
I'm really hoping that tomorrow evening doesn't take this long, otherwise I might put myself up for adoption. In other news, I've started to plan Isabella's very first birthday party, yay! It's a bit early notice as her birthday isn't for another 6 and a half weeks, but I'm determined that it will be perfect! We're having a Disney Princess theme, Vikki is making princess-themed pink and purple cupcakes and a castle shaped cake, all the food and drink will be pink and I'm planning games like "stick the horn on the unicorn" and a treasure hunt. I've also asked all the guests, including the grown-ups to wear tiaras. It's gonna be so fricking girly that we'll poo rainbows!
TTFN x
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