5 Things I thought that I'd miss that I actually don't

Like any unplanned pregnancy, after "OMG, I'm having a baby" and "OMG, I'm having a baby that I can't afford", my thoughts after seeing that little blue cross were all the things I would need to give up due to being pregnant then due to being a mum. Some elements of my pre-baby life, I do miss, but I look at Isabella and it's all worth it. Some, I thought I would miss but I really don't. Here they are....

1. Smoking. In my 7 years of being a smoker, I must have "quit" at least 50 (I kid you not) times, only to start again after a day, week or even month of being smoke-free because of a bad day or one too many drinks. When I found out that I was pregnant, I'd been smoke-free for a whole month and after getting over the 3-month hurdle of quitting smoking, I can't imagine going back to it. Plus, I can't afford it or the potential wrinkles.
2. Kerazy nights out. Don't get me wrong, I still love socialising with my friends and the occasional drink and I've been out 3 times since having Isabella. What I don't miss are the nights out that end up with somebody crying (usually me), somebody flashing (usually me) or somebody trying to start a fight (again, usually me). I don't know whether turning 25 has mellowed me out or knowing that I can't get super-drunk because I need to snap back into mummy-mode has changed me, but I don't really miss it. I probably will go out for 1 last epic, crazy night out once Isabella is old enough to stay somewhere without me for a whole night, but that won't be for a good few months.
3. Shopping for myself. I've always been a culprit of buying things without trying them on, especially after putting on a bit of weight and not wanting to admit to myself how big I actually was and how stuff really looked on me. That would always end up in shopping remorse and more often than not, unworn items that I couldn't face the shame of returning for a bigger size or different shape. Since having a baby, wanting stuff just for the sake of wanting something new has taking a massive backseat. I will need to buy new clothes soon (hopefully, if the weight keeps coming off) but I seem to be blinkered into only looking for stuff for Isabella. It's also another case of not really being able to afford shopping any more. Boo!
4. Crash diets. As you may have gathered if you've read some of my previous entries, I have major issues with my weight and appearance. I struggled for years with anorexia, bulimia and disordered eating. The funny thing about eating disorders is, no matter how well you're "cured" and "normal", it always sits in the back of your head. Be it totting up calories in your brain or purposefully eating what you "should eat" instead of what you actually want, you're never really shot of it. I know I'm not and my eating problems are why I have an awful metabolism now, but because I'm breast feeding and have to keep my strength up to look after baby, I've managed to silence the little voice in my head that tells me that I'd be happier if I tried this diet, that diet or went a few days without food.
5. Being a workaholic. I'm a classic stress-thriver, in that the more I have to do and the more I take on, the harder I push myself. If I have less to do, I get a bit complacent and lazy. For the past year and a bit up until going on maternity leave, I worked crazy hours. Most mornings, I was in the office at 7 in the morning and didn't leave until 6 or 7 in the evening and used my lunch break to do extra work. Most people have their workload reduced when they get pregnant so they're less stressed. Not me! I ended up with more and more tasks to do. When I was about to go on maternity leave, my manager said to me that they were surprised I lasted as long as I did and rarely took a day off sick. To be honest, so was I! The first couple of weeks of maternity leave, I was stir-crazy, but then the tiredness set in and I was too huge to do most things and had to learn to relax. Now, I'm really not in a hurry to go back to work. I'm sure they're surviving without me just fine.