I'm still here!

I know, I know, I know, the last 6 months or so have been extremely sporadic (read, non-existant blog posts), but I have my reasons! Apart from trying to make a living from being a self-employed writer, having a high-maintenance baby who demands all of my working time and having computer issues, I've just been busy! I should write more often as it gets me out of my head, but between working, baking, mummy-duties and trying to have some form of social life, I just don't have time! My exercise routine has gone to seed, along with my waist and fitness, but now that work has slowed down (eeeek, I'm going to be even more broke!) and my child can feed herself her own bottle instead of me having her stuck to my boobie several times a day, I will make more time. In other news, I'm looking for something else to do to make a bit of cash. I love cooking and baking, so hopefully something involving that as I'm not really good at much else! TTFN x

Concentration

I know, I know, it's been another long gap since I posted. It doesn't mean that I don't need to share everything in my head with the world, I've just been snowed under with work and the last few days have been like swimming in treacle. I have the concentration span of a hamster with ADHD and have been barely getting anything done, so I need to make some coffee, put my head down and write like I've never written before!
Wish me luck!!!

In other news, Bellabum is now 1, her party was amazing, albeit chaotic, she still will not walk by herself even though she's more than capable and we're starting to wean off of boobie milk slowly but surely.

Because Mummyhood doesn't have enough guilt!

I read a conversation the other day on the Netmums forum about how awful petit filous are for babies because of all the sugar- shock horror, I've been poisoning my baby with a sugary fromage frais the other day. Even though it has protein, calcium and vitamin D, shame on me, I should have been giving her organic yogurt with homemade fruit puree. Somebody call Child Protection! Don't tell anybody, but one time I was at my mum's and she didn't have any petit filous so I had to give her....wait for it..... reduced fat yogurt *gasp*!
Shockingly, my baby survived being fed low-fat activia against her will, but why are we so quick to tell other mums how to do their job? Apparently, being a mum means that you are wide open to criticism and people telling you that you're doing it wrong.
You get criticised if you can't breastfeed, you get judged by formula-feeding mums if you do breastfeed (your baby won't sleep through the night, your baby won't put on enough weight, you'll never be able to leave your baby with his/her dad) If you start weaning at 4 months, you're told your baby's too young, if you don't wean you get told to give them some food as they're OBVIOUSLY starving. Yes, it's fantastic if you've been there, done that and got the t-shirt, but knowing your baby doesn't mean that you know mine as well! As a first-time mummy, I spend enough time worrying that I'm doing it wrong without people sticking their oars in and making me doubt myself whilst wanting to throttle them.
Friendly advice is great, but people need to guage when and where it's actually wanted and try maybe not telling people how to raise their babies. My mum has the best attitude, in fact, more people need her attitude. She basically says that she's there if I need advice but Isabella is my baby and I know her best. My mum is so wise! And extremely clever, I think she says that so I'm more likely to actually ask her for advice. Because I'm her baby, and she knows me best!

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!

My baby daddy took today off of work to get some more time to practice his CAD (computer aided design work) so we went swimming which Isabella looooooves!
I first took her swimming at 4 months as I heard the younger you start them the better and went with my mum and her husband whilst I was staying at their house for the week. Not only was Isabella amazingly brave and well-behaved, it tuckered her out for hours afterwards! My baby is normally a little ball of hyper, so this was amazing!
Our local pool is about 10 minutes' drive away and comprises of a smaller, warmer teaching pool and a proper, grown up pool. We were in the habit of taking her once every 3 or 4 weeks, but haven't got round to taking her for aaaaages, so a few weeks ago we decided to take her, only to discover that she had (obviously) outgrown her swimming costume so had to do a mad dash around the shops to get a new one. Unfortunately for us, the pool was actually shut that day as they were short-staffed.
We've now taken her twice in the last week and, even though it's £4.25 each and she swims for free, I'd really make it a weekly, at least fortnightly thing. Isabella is almost swimming herself already and only needs a little bit of support in the water, which is amazing considering we haven't actually taken her to any swimming lessons. I've decided not to get one of those inflatable seat-thingys because I think they make babies a little bit lazy, but when she's old enough to actually learn to swim I will be sourcing the pinkest, girliest armbands I can find!
Plus, even if you don't get a chance to do any actual swimming yourself whilst you're at the pool, just playing with your baby in the water is amazing exercise. Really fun as well! I give it a few months before she can swim better than me!

TTFN xx

My night off

I actually left my baby for the entire night for the first time ever last night and it was emosh! It was one of my best friends' fiance's birthday night out (Vikki, she of the baking and keeping me sane fame) so we were going to Vodka Revs in Clapham. Tony had to stay at home to babysit so because cabs are so expensive and a train was out of the question because it was 1.absolutely freezing due to the snow we've had the last couple of days, 2.A bit nerve wracking getting a train all the way back to the sticks by myself and 3.A bummer as the last train to get me home would be at 11.40. So, as a solution, Vikki let me stay round theirs, their little girl was at her grandparentss house so I slept in hr room. On an inflatable bed, of course, not in her dinky bed.
I've been out a few times since having her but came back the same night, don't normally stay out too late and have to snap straight back into mummy-mode. As much as I missed Isabella so, so, so much, it was actually really liberating! A whole evening of no mummy duties at all. But, instead of my normal reports of Isabella being inconsolable and awake for hours, she was fine. She was bloody fine and didn't miss me at all. What am I, chopped liver?!
The next morning, I woke up with pornstar boobs as I'd missed a couple of feeds and surprisingly unhungover considering how drunk I was. I'm still doing the dryathalon, I was supposed to get a 'golden pass' for last night, I suppose I can still get one online. Whoops. Tony brought Isabella with me when he came to pick me up and at first she was a bit stand offish, but after me practically forcing her to have a feed to relieve myself a bit, she came around!
I love my baby girl more than life itself, but I think I really needed my night off. It'll probably be a good few months before I go out again and hopefully it won't be so blimming freezing!

Really, really hating this now!

It's been a week of trying to get Isabella to self-soothe and it's really dragging! The second night, it only took half an hour to get her to sleep, only for her to wake up half an hour later and to be awake until nearly 1am!
We've managed to get the initial going to sleep thing down to a T, it takes baby about 5 minutes and then she's off. But, that's when it all comes unstuck. She's wide awake after an hour or so, then is awake until I feed her, and then up again at 3. When you're up until the wee small hours trying to forge a career as a freelance writer and actually watch some TV (God, I miss TV!), it's utterly exhausting!
I just keep telling myself the same thing that any mum that's gone through sleeping problems, colic, teething or just general fussiness tells themselves- this too shall pass!
Seriously, if you tell yourself that enough times, you can almost feel your fingers clutching on to the slippery grip of your sanity! There are a few posts going around Facebook with poems about how your baby is only young once so to cherish the sleepless nights and messiness and the whole shebang, but it's just easier said than done. Tonight, I tried leaving her with her daddy whilst I ate dinner and she was still wide awake when I came upstairs. Tony had let her play with her toys with the lights off because he though it would help gradually calm her down. Men's logic, anyone?!
I love my baby more than life itself and I know I'm going to miss her being all little (ish!) and cuddly, but I just wish she'd bloody sleep when she's supposed to. She's now growing out of 9-12 month clothes and going into 12-18, it's so scary knowing that in a month and a bit I'm going to have a 1 year old!

I don't know who cried more!

So, I decided to give self-soothing another go and stick at it. I need to get Isabella out of the habit of feeding to sleep because I want to stop breast feeding soon. Lots of mums probably started months ago, but I wanted to make sure that we were both ready!
Little tip to any mums out there reading this, make sure that your partner is with you (mine was out, rookie mistake!) or a close friend and don't do it when you're going through a period of not drinking. I'm doing the dryathalon for CRUK at the moment and am still gagging for a glass of wine after this evening!
Basically, Isabella's never been a good sleeper. She screams like she's being murdered if you put her in her cot, doesn't want to nap, takes ages to calm down and is a tiny (read:extremely) clingy. I was told since day one to put her down whilst she's still awake, which of course with her has never worked. She was still awake after her bedtime routine and last feed, so I though "oo here's my chance" after a few unsuccessful attempts in the last week. Unsurprisingly, she wasn't impressed. Thus followed 2 hours and 40 minutes of picking up and putting down, trying to give her a dummy (which she normally likes, I can't leave dummies within her reach normally cos she'll grab them and use them whether she needs them or not. I'm sure she's got an oral fixation....), blood-curdling screams, Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes feat.Adam Levigne repeatedly, begging, pleading, a half dose of calpol and a lot of tears from both of us.
Luckily, my friend Vikki was on Facebook chat the whole time. She taught her baby to self-soothe just after her first birthday so she was coaching me through and helping to preserve my sanity.
I'm really hoping that tomorrow evening doesn't take this long, otherwise I might put myself up for adoption. In other news, I've started to plan Isabella's very first birthday party, yay! It's a bit early notice as her birthday isn't for another 6 and a half weeks, but I'm determined that it will be perfect! We're having a Disney Princess theme, Vikki is making princess-themed pink and purple cupcakes and a castle shaped cake, all the food and drink will be pink and I'm planning games like "stick the horn on the unicorn" and a treasure hunt. I've also asked all the guests, including the grown-ups to wear tiaras. It's gonna be so fricking girly that we'll poo rainbows!
TTFN x

It's nearly Christmas!!!

There are only 15 days until Christmas, that's just 2 weeks and 1 day! Apart from my mum, I am actually the biggest kid when it comes to Christmas. I love the cheesiness, I love the tack, I love all the old Christmas hits, like Slade's 'Merry Christmas Everyone' and re-watching Elf for the hundredth time! Most importantly, this year is Isabella's first Christmas!
She, of course, is too young to know what's going on, can't really have Christmas dinner (she's veggie like me anyway, so no turkey for her!) and will probably prefer the wrapping paper to her presents, but I really want to get something memorable for her.
My problem at Christmas time is that I always insist on making things like mince pies or gingerbread or home-made knitted scarves and end up tearful and panicky at 4am on Christmas eve trying to finish everything. Last year, I learnt how to make macarons and made my own puff-pastry for mince pies. Of course, I didn't make enough pastry and ran out of some of the ingredients. More poor other-half ended up in a ram-packed Asda an hour before closing time on Christmas eve getting me more white chocolate, eggs and pastry whilst I (heavily pregnant, tired and emotional) cried in the kitchen, covered in flour and watching Elf declaring that 'Everything has gone to sh*t!' Being my own worst enemy, I decided to make gingerbread, shortbread and fudge as well as the mince pies and macarons. Ever tried to make a macaron? Don't do it unless you have a couple of days to spare and infinite patience.
This year, I have tried to go a bit easier on myself with the exception of making my mother-in-law's present (I'm not saying what it is, she reads this!) and having to make shortbread for my mum's husband and deciding that I want to make a Christmas pudding.
I really want to do a stocking for Isabella but so far have only got one present for it and no actual stocking. I will make it the world's most perfect and festive Christmas for her if it kills me. Which it probably will.....At least this year I can blimming drink!

You know you're a mummy when....

I know, I know, I haven't posted for aaaaages! I've been really busy with a poorly Isabella who then started teething again (she has 3 coming through atm, eeeek!) and I did a craft fair last weekend so every spare minute was spent making soap and bath bombs or knitting.
At the moment, it's 12.20 at night and I'm trying to catch up with Masterchef whilst knitting finger puppets for a Christmas present, so this will be a quick one.

You know you're a mummy when- 

You are no longer grossed out by any form of bodily fluid.
You are proficient at doing things with one hand.
Baby wipes are your new BFF.
Not having a smear of sudocrem down your leg and brushing your hair counts as 'dressed up'.
You have to consider if there will be something suitable for your baby before you settle on a place for lunch.
A digestive shared with your baby (who just had their own breakfast all to their self ) and a bit of chocolate constitutes as breakfast in your books.
You can't remember what your legs look like without hair.
Ditto your bikini area.
Having a bath by yourself seems like the biggest extravagance in the world.
Popping out to see your grown up friends for a *gasp* glass of wine is the most.exciting.thing.EVER!
When you go to see your friends, you mummy them in lieu of your baby.
You go out fully intending to buy some jeans that fit but end up with some really cute clothes for your sprog instead.
You look at your baby and realise that you would do absolutely anything for them and would probably kill anybody who so much as looked at them the wrong way.

If anybody has some more for my list, please let me know!

TTFN x

Like Playing See-Saw With an Elephant!

If you've been following my blog (please do, I'm very interesting and insightful. Really. Honest) you would have seen my post about wanting to work whilst being a mummy. As I'm officially on maternity leave until the end of January but am no longer being paid, I've been doing some writing work, hence the quietness on here.

It turns out that trying to work from home with a baby is trickier than I thought. Firstly, Isabella is obsessed with my laptop and every time I have it round her, she climbs on top of it. Secondly, my baby does not like being ignored and she doesn't nap that much. If you add together all the hours you spend playing with a baby, feeding a baby, soothing a baby, changing a baby and doing the endless washing of clothes that comes along with it all, I'm pretty sure it adds up to more than 24 hours!

At first it was fine, I was doing manageable chunks of work here and there, but then I managed to score a job as a content writer for an outsourcing company. It was a LOT of work, which is both good and bad. Good because doing 8-10 500 word pieces a day adds up to a reasonable amount of money, bad because it's actual impossible to fit that in when you're a mummy. Something has to give, and in my case, that ended up being sleep. 

I had a seemingly endless stream of articles and guest posts to write with next day deadlines. The fascinating subjects included- packaging tape, pallet wrap, plywood, body armour (?). Soooo, I ended up typing all the way to Shropshire and back, typing during Isabella's meal times (it's fortunate that at the moment she just insists on feeding herself) and typing through to the wee small hours. Old caffeine addict Kayleigh was back! My baby ended up twitchy from the amount of coffee I was drinking, I felt like I was being tortured and it got to the stage when I just didn't care if I was being paid or not, I just wanted my life back.

After losing 5lbs in the space of 4 days and gaining a massive spot which makes me look like I have a cold sore, I decided to call it quits. I told a little white lie and said that I had another job and agreed that I'd do 1000-2000 words a day for them max. I've got a few straggling pieces to get through, so it's going to be another tough couple of nights, but at least then it's done and gone away forever. Now, I'm just working for the one company that I started with doing a little bit of blog work and proof reading here and there and I'm much happier. 

It's so impossible to find a balance between working and being a mum, whether you return to the office or work from home. Hence the title of this entry because it is, in fact, like trying to play see-saw with an elephant! 

Baby feeding isn't a contest!

Up until now, I've been pretty open about the fact that I breast feed my baby, but haven't publicly discussed my opinions or problems that I've experienced much.
Discussing breast feeding is a double-edged sword- it's important to discuss it and stop it from becoming a taboo subject, but be too pro-breast feeding and you get accused of being part of the 'Breastapo' or trying to guilt-trip bottle feeding mums. Why can't we just freely discuss feeding our babies without negative feedback?!
I'm part of several breast feeding support groups on Facebook, but some of the comments made by other breast feeding mums seem like they're trying to make mums feel guilty if they have to supplement with formula or have to start weaning earlier than they planned.
I got a LOT of opinions and criticism when I had to start giving Isabella solids at 4 months,but none of them were actually from breast feeders who had the experience that I did of being stuck for an hour with a baby on your boob a dozen times a day. This leads me to believe that these advocates didn't exclusively breast feed quiiiiiiite as long as they're making out!
Of course I believe that breast feeding is best for MY baby, but it doesn't mean that I'm frowning on other mums who either can't breast feed or choose not to for their personal reasons. That being said, I think that not breast feeding for a self-centred reason, eg thinking that it makes your boobs go saggy, is wrong. I have a mummy friend who couldn't breast feed due to tongue-tie, then her supply didn't come through because she didn't have the first few important days and a girl we know (who's not a mum, BTW) had the brass nerve to stand IN  HER HOUSE and have a go at her for not breast feeding and demanded that she tried it there and then. What happened to us women being supportive of each other?!
At the same time, I sometimes feel that I can't be vocal about how proud I am of myself. Most women in the UK will give up breast feeding by 6 weeks, but I'm still going strong at 7 months AND my baby as 2 teeth that she's started to use- ouchy!
Maybe if all of us women, mums and non-mums alike are supportive and less critical about each other, we can discuss the choices that we have made for our babies more freely without having to tread on eggshells.

Veggie baby pancakes

OK, because I'm nice, I thought I'd share my recipe for baby pancakes.

Makes 8 (I cook 4 and then do the rest the following day, keep the batter in the fridge)

You will need-

1 egg
1/3 tin of chickpeas, butter beans or any pulse that your baby likes.
1 heaped tbsp of flour
1 tbsp of grated cheddar
A pinch of dried herbs

Here's what to do-

Boil your beans or pulses for 4 minutes in unsalted water, drain and then mash.
Mix together with the rest of the ingredients and a little splash of water to make a thick batter.
Heat up a frying pan with a small amount of vegetable oil.
Once the pan is hot, spoon in some of the mixture.
Cook for 3-4 minutes, then flip them over.
Cook the other side for another 3-4 minutes, until both sides are golden brown.
Cool on a piece of kitchen paper to absorb any excess grease, then serve, voila!

I first gave them to Isabella with a tomato and tahini dipping sauce, but she ended up shoving her hands into the sauce and smearing it everywhere. She looked a zombie baby! They are also very tasty for mummy and daddy, because cooking for baby is hungry work!

Well, I guess I'm not needed!

My baby has decided that she doesn't want me to feed her any more (except yogurt, strangely  and she just wants to feed herself. This is both a good thing and a bad thing.

It's good because-
I get to do stuff whilst she's eating, like actually eating myself, or reading, which I never get to do any more!
It's good for her fine motor skills and independence.
She really enjoys her food.
It's handy when we go out for lunch and she can feed herself whilst we eat.

It's bad because-
I still have a load of purées and baby porridge which she will no longer touch. My baby doesn't realise that I'm not made of money!
It means that I have to get more creative as she's being raised veggie so I need to come up with lots of ideas for finger foods with protein.
Sometimes it takes aaaaaaaaaaages and you can't leave a baby unattended whilst they eat.
It's a bit embarrassing when we go out for lunch and there's half-chewed food in a 2 foot radius around us.

Also, if she's a bit tired, she doesn't eat much and chucks most of it on the floor. Then she gets cranky because she's still hungry. Then she gets cranky because she's been in the high chair for too long. Then she takes ages to get to sleep because she's still hungry. You just can't please some people!
My current brainchild is mini-pancakes with mashed up beans or chickpeas and cheese in them to get fat, carbs and protein into her, but obviously she can't live off those so I'll have to come up with more ideas. She would probably eat toast and bananas all day, every day if I let her, but if mummy isn't allowed to live off toast, neither is she!

Mummy tummies

There seem to be loads of shows out there about people over-eating, binge-eating, eating themselves to death, diets etc, but none about the hardest weight-loss challenge of them all- regaining your body after 9 months without proper exercise, no sleep, ripped abdominal muscles, painful scars (I had to angle myself when I had to pee!) and stretched-skin as far as the eye can see. That's right, we need a real-life mummy weight-loss show.
All these gossip magazines are full of stars who snap back into their size 6 jeans without a stretch mark or vomit stain in sight. Unfortunately, not all of us can afford 24/7 private nannies, personal chefs and trainers and elective c-sections that come with a "mummy-tuck".
Admittedly, I did get a bit pudgy in the couple of years before getting pregnant, so I've had that to lose as well. I also had the world's HUGEST bump. I used to joke that there are 2 man-made objects that you can see from the moon- the Great Wall of China and my baby bump!
The breast feeding must have helped with the baby-weight loss BUT it gives you chronic munchies in the first few weeks. Plus, because you're so sleep-deprived, a nice, light salad won't do- you need biscuits and stodge and comfort food. It's a bit like 2 steps forward, 1 step back.
Then, once you've had your 6 week check-up, longer if you've had a c-section, you can start exercising again. When I actually get time to exercise, which is normally gone 11pm at night, I don't have the energy to do much and can't make too much sound or I'll wake up baby. I do Zumba once a week, it's become my 'hour off' from being a mum, as we don't have lunch breaks.
I managed to get around about pre-baby weight at 4 months post-partum, but that was mainly due to being in the middle of nowhere; I have to walk for a mile and a half for Heat and a latte.
You show me any woman who loses her baby weight as fast as celebs do, but in normal conditions, and I'll show you a unicorn fornicating with the easter bunny on a double rainbow!!!

Q. When is a baby not a baby?

A. When they become a little person.

Admittedly, my baby has always been the child of a thousand faces, but I've been wondering if it's a gradual process or you just wake up one morning and instead of being a squirming, crying baby, they're a little person with their own personality.

For example, as much as Isabella has always had her own "flavour" as a baby. When she was in utero, the only music that she would kick to was Lady Gaga and she made me feel nauseous if I didn't eat enough fruit and veg. As a 7 month old crawling, babbling, cuddling, teething baby, she's equally as blatant with her likes and dislikes. For example, if the wrong person is holding her, she'll soon let them know and she flat-out refuses to eat anything bland. She also makes it very clear that she owns her mummy!

Some people (admittedly, normally people without babies) claim that all babies are the same and a wee bit boring, but I think I can actually tell the difference between different babies. I think my bubba's always had her own personality, it's just developed and grown with her, like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly.

No! Don't make me go back there!

I have 2 more pay days left and 5 more months of maternity leave, then I have the choice to either be broke for 3 months, go back early and spend less time with my baby or be completely broke and hand in my notice. Let's face it, the £81 and a few pence child benefit we get monthly just about covers nappies and dummies, babies are blimming expensive!
The original plan was for me to go back to work part time at the end of October, but as soon as I gave birth, I knew that I really didn't want to leave my baby. I need to start making money as, even if I go back in January (after a year's maternity leave), I'll have no money for Christmas, or going out for my birthday, or maybe not even for Isabella's first birthday.
My first idea was to make a few quid from doing online surveys. I used to do them all the time when I lived in my old flat and ended up earning £30 on one site and a £10 Argos voucher on another. But that was back when I had a lot more free time in the evening and it took me almost a year to make my £30 and Argos voucher. Plus it's annoying. And a tad repetitive. And very boring. And your email ends up being spammed no end as your details are spread far and wide across the internet.
The second idea was to start my own business, as I've been intending to do for 2 years. The number of mums starting their own businesses has risen by 20% since 2000 and there are now over a million of us at it. Also, it means having a bit of money and if things pick up enough, not having to return to the office and leave my baby. So far, I've spent about £70 of my hard-earned money on supplies, made a few trial bath muffins and set up a Facebook page to advertise my wares. It's not exactly a massive money spinner as of yet. BUUUUUUT there is one shining beacon on the horizon! My mother-in-law organises a local event every year called the Towpath Harvest where people in our town come together to barter and to sell their home-grown and home-made produce so I'm going to see if I can drum up a bit of business. The goal is to become established enough to do the craft fair circuit next Christmas.
Then there's the third option; trying to make money in the comfort of my own home using the wonder that is the internet. I've joined PeoplePerHour offering my services and am at present searching about 6 different websites for some data entry work. I think I'm just going to have to persevere and throw many nets in the ocean. All going well, I'll be able to earn a bit of pocket money to keep clean nappies on my baby's bum and food in her tummy. Wish me luck!
It's not that I don't want to work, quite the opposite. I've always been a grafter and worked since the age of 15, but I've found that my priorities shifted from having a bit of spare cash to go to the pub to spending as much time with my baby as possible and watching her develop into her own little person. I'm just really not ready to leave her yet and the thought of going back to a job that I didn't really like (and was supposed to be temporary) in the first place and missing out being with my baby does just bum me out no end. Maybe I should just start playing the lottery and see how that works out for me...
TTFN!

Far too awake for this time of night

This is why you should never EVER exercise late at night! As I've been busy with bubba all day and making bath truffles and muffins for my little cottage industry (Kayleigh's Creations, check us out on Facebook!) tonight it got to half 10 and I realised that I hadn't got round to doing any exercise.
With just a month and a half left to lose a stone and having eaten a lot of chocolate and cheese, I started to get a bit panicky. Unfortunately, Isabella then decided to wake up for a feed. Managed to get her off to bed, pottered around getting a few bits done and she awoke again! Fed her a bit more, did a few more busy things and before I knew it, it was only twenty minutes to midnight. But, because I'm an utter trooper (and feeling guilty after yesterday's Krispy Kreme and not exercising since Sunday) I did 40 minutes of bum and thigh exercises and dance-style toning as quietly as possible with DVD practically on mute.
I now feel vaguely better and my bum muscles are killing me and utterly, utterly wide awake! A sensible person would say "it's way past my bedtime, my baby's going to be waking up for another feed soon, I should sleep". Apparently I'm not a sensible person. Instead, I'm sat here with a face mask on about to watch a Dispatches documentary on 4OD about benefit cheats. Happy days!
I may be even more tired than usual in the morning, but at least I'll get to spend a bit more time with hubby and my pores will be a lot clearer.....
Isabella really amazed me today; during Nakey Nakey Playtime (between dinner and bed to avoid another nappy and outfit change) she managed to push herself up from lying on her tummy, to more or less sitting up. Her legs were still tucked under her, like a frog about to hop.

Doesn't she look chuffed with her little self?! It's astounding how much stronger and smarter she gets by the day. I'm going to wash this blue gunk off my face and have a nice cup of green tea.

TTFN!x

Having a trying time :-(

Isabella and I have been having a few tricky evenings of late. Because she's a very minimalistic  napper, I thought that she'd be really tired and easy to settle at night. WRONG! I thought that being such an active baby, she would wear herself out. WRONG! So it's a real struggle sometimes to get her to sleep, let alone get her to stay asleep.
We've tried encouraging her to self-settle innumerable times, but it just doesn't seem to work on her, she needs to be nursed to sleep. She's also redeveloped the habit of waking up just for a cuddle. It's happened 3 times this evening so far. As lovely as it is to feel wanted by my baby, the novelty does wear off sometimes!
Sunday night was perhaps the worst sleep we've had since she had the snuffles a few weeks ago (which was when she refused to sleep by herself and poor hubby got kicked into the spare room so that she could stay with me) and it left me absolutely exhausted. I don't know why some nights she'll only wake up twice and other nights she's determined not to sleep. Why can't babies just be predictable?!
I'm just getting through each day as it comes by telling myself that one day, one sweet day, she will sleep through the night again and I can get some actual, proper sleep.
I've been too tired the last couple of days to exercise, so I've capped it all off by having a krispy kreme. It was just over 200 empty calories and I've had a lot of chocolate today, but it was sooooo worth it! Back on the diet wagon tomorrow!
On the plus side, I made Isabella some new purees today, including cauliflower and broccoli and she really liked it. My baby likes greens, yay!!!
TTFN x

What I've learnt from my baby

My baby is getting so big!!! I've been a little bit preoccupied of late, hence the not posting anything for a while. Isabella is on the verge of crawling and has a wide vocabulary of babbling. What I've noticed about Isabella is that I can actually learn some life lessons from her. Mainly because babies are so instinctive and just do what feels right for them. Here are some things that I have learnt from Isabella so far.

1. Do things in your own time, not when people think you should do them. Babies do things when they are ready themselves, not when the books say they should. For example, Isabella was ready for solids at 4 months, some people were telling me from when she was 3 months to give her some because she was feeding so much, some people told me to start at 5 months. With our babies, we let them do things in their own time, but we don't allow ourselves that same flexibility. There's so much pressure to lose our baby weight as soon as possible or be ready to leave our baby with a relative quickly to get our social lives back on track, but where did all this rush come from?! I still don't feel ready to leave my baby with somebody during the day or more than a few hours in the evening, but then again why should I try to push myself? Some people feel ready to go back to work when their babies are as young as 4 months, some don't feel ready until they're over a year. Let's cut ourselves a bit of slack!
2. It's OK to show a bit of emotion! You wouldn't dream of telling a baby not to cry when they feel stressed out or to calm down when they're so excited that they give themselves hiccups, so why is there so much pressure for us adults to keep a stiff upper lip?! Agreed, being upset or stressed around your baby isn't good for them, but the rest of the time, if we want to express how frustrated or happy or perplexed we are, maybe it would do us good to share it a bit more.
3. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. Imagine how useless we'd be if we gave up everything at the first attempt. I mean, everything that we've tried in our lives; walking, talking, co-ordinating our hands and mouths. We literally would not be able to do anything! Isabella has been trying to crawl for ages now and she's got to the point where she pushes her bum up and either goes backwards or flips over, but she's showing no signs of quitting! I'm horrifically guilty of being a quitter. I hurt myself trying to ride a bike, so I gave up. I quit quitting smoking dozens and dozens of times before I succeeded. So, I've decided to, for once in my life, just do something! I've been meaning to start my own business making bath products for nearly 2 years then put it on the back burner or delayed it because I feel like I've got more research and work to do, but now I'm just going to take a dive and do it! As they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
4. Life is too short to do something that you don't want to. My baby will not do anything she doesn't want to, she's already got a mind of her own. If you offer her a toy and she doesn't like the look of it or doesn't feel like playing, she just won't take it. She's the same with food; she doesn't like avocado or plain baby rice, so she won't eat it, simples! I'm not suggesting that we should take this too literally, if you refused to do a task at work because you didn't enjoy it, you'd probably get a disciplinary, but how many times in our lives do we do something simply to please somebody else? Maybe we should grow down a bit and explain (nicely) that we don't want to eat something we don't like the look or smell of or would rather do or go somewhere else. After all, isn't life a bit too short to not enjoy what you're doing?
5. Sometimes we just need a hug. I'm not sure why, but once we reach adulthood, a lot of us have a lot less human contact with each other. How many times has your baby stopped crying as soon as you picked them up and gave them a cuddle? Even through the toddling stage and childhood, a hug can make everything better, but many grown-ups suffer from hug-deprivation in their lives.  Hugs increase the level of oxytocin and release serotonin and dopamine, which are all important for making you feel calmer and happier. Studies have shown that regular cuddles can also decrease your stress levels, which can reduce your risk of high blood pressure. There are absolutely dozens of reasons to hug somebody, so aim for at least 3 hugs a day (even if they're with the same person) to keep the blues away!

I'm sure my baby has a lot more to teach me, like the importance of being nakey nakey as often as possible, she's an extremely wise little girl.

How is time going so fast?!

Today, my baby is 5 months old. I have no idea how because it feels like she just came out of me yesterday. The funny thing about having a baby is that they feel brand new and like time's going fast really quickly, but at the same time it's hard to remember what life was like before them.
Every day, she manages to astound me. For example, today she sat up by herself for a good 6-7 seconds whilst holding her arms out like a tightrope walker, instead of the normal hands on the ground to prop her up. She also pushed herself right up to the crawling position so, considering how adept she is now with the tummy shuffle, I should probably start baby-proofing quite sharpish!
My theory on why time seems to go so quickly is that you spend your whole time blinkered and focussing on getting through the day, so you don't actually notice that getting through the first few days has become getting through the first few weeks and then turns into getting through the first few months. Well, that kind of makes sense in my head.
On a bad note, I think that the lack of rest and lack of time to express milk is finally having a knock-on effect on my supply, so I'm going to try to ease up on the exercise a bit and make more time for expressing. I've been trying to do at least 40 minutes of exercise a day, not including walking or my weekly zumba class. That might not seem a lot, but when you combine it with breast feeding, doing 99% of the parenting and 2 night feeds, it's actually quite knackering. Especially as I normally end up doing at least half of my daily exercising after 11pm as we don't normally have dinner before 9pm and all my time prior to that is doing mummy stuff. Any time after dinner should be chocolate and TV chilling out time, not sweating to some chirpy American woman telling me to feel the burn time!
Isabella has 1 more month before I can start gradually introducing lumps and more foods, such as lentils and small amounts of cheese. It's really exciting in a strange way! I'm going to be researching some nice recipes that I can try out on her.
I'm going to try to squeeze out some more booby juice!
TTFN x